Ken

A little less than a week ago i attended a memorial service for Kenneth P. Strong, who was my beginning acting professor when i was a freshman here at UNC. He had brain cancer. It was in remission when he taught my class and for another year after that. But it came back, and the few times i ran into Ken last semester, the toll it was taking on him was growing more apparent.

When we got the email saying he had died, i wasn't entirely surprised - he had resigned near the end of last semester, so it was really a matter of time. But at the specific moment i opened the email, Ken wasn't what was on my mind, so it still came as a bit of a shock.

And then the memorial service proved, well, more difficult than i had anticipated, given the inevitability of the situation. i was struck particularly by two remarks. the first came from McKay Coble, the drama department chair. she showed a picture of Ken in character as Uncle Vanya, screaming, and explained that it was both like him - in his tremendous talent - and unlike him because the picture looked so mean. Ken wasn't mean. She said he could not comprehend meanness. Why would someone choose that over kinder alternatives? Second, i remember Ray Dooley commenting on his ceaseless sense of humor. Even through the cancer, he found ways to make people smile, seeking out the laughs to be had.

What really got me about these remembrances was when i thought back to my time in class with Ken, really thought about what he was like, and i was reminded of all these things. His enormous kindness and humor. And how he ended ever class by telling us, "I love you!" And as much as i despise cliches, i can't get over the idea that this is precisely the kind of man that i should be trying to live like. So here i am, and i'm going to do my best to understand meanness less than i do, and to always look for the humor around me and share it with whoever is close by.

But don't worry, i'll be careful out there.