(Note: This post is more of an announcement. Further below is today's actual entry.)
For the next week I will be out of contact with all of you. I am going to travel around with my parents, and an aunt and uncle. We'll be going to Venice, Salzburg, Berchtesgaden, Munich, and maybe some other places that I don't know about yet. I won't have internet access. I will be keeping my journal and will probably write up some sort of day-by-day review when I get back. (If I see an internet cafe, I might give a mid-week update.)
In the meantime, I would love it if you would catch up on blogs you haven't gotten a chance to read and make comments. Start conversations with your friends about them, even if those conversations are only to say how big of a moron I am. I'm fine with that.
This also gives some of you the opportunity to catch up on some facebook messages that need answering. (You know who you are.) I really do love getting facebook messages, so if you want to make my day, fill my inbox 'til it runneth over.
So yes, keep us in your prayers as we travel. And keep me in your prayers specifically - I will be needing strength and patience this week.
I'll be back soon.
(Keep reading, there's actual content down below.)
Friday, May 30, 2008
Giving away my rose-tinted glasses; or, God's Wrath - for you, for me, or for everyone else?
I watched La Vie en Rose yesterday, the Edith Piaf biopic. It was really wonderful, and Marion Cotillard is absolutely stunning, so if you don’t mind foreign films (it’s in French), check it out. (If anyone is interested in the more technical aspects of film, the make-up was great, and it isn’t as easy to age women as it is to age men. Also, there’s a great tracking shot, probably a couple minutes long, when Edith receives some tragic news and doesn’t take it so well.)
I finished reading Hermann Hesse’s Demian, which was pretty interesting. It’s about this kid, Sinclair, who meets this other kid, Demian, who talks about how you can look at the Bible in ways other than literally, which leads Sinclair to deep questioning of himself and his purpose in life, etc etc. I would have found it more challenging if Demian’s initial arguments (which could border on sacrilegious, if the reader chooses to read them that way) were not very poor in their logic and interpretation. Eventually, Sinclair reaches a point of looking to some god that is the god of good and evil (I guess if Yahweh and Satan were the same being?) in order to bring balance to his life, and find purpose and meaning. Ultimately, his goals are not much different than those of Christianity, he just tries to get there without Christ. I would need to reread it to pick up some of the more nuanced details, but as far as I can tell, he doesn’t quite get there, until WWI starts up and he starts talking about an the entire German people as having purpose and dignity. So yeah, it’s interesting, but not amazing, unless I reread and get something new and exciting out of it down the road.
Then I started reading Pride and Prejudice, which is going well. I also enjoyed my next Hitchcock adventure, North by Northwest, though not as much as Vertigo or Psycho.
Now, about my actual life, and not the lives of characters that I’ve been reading or watching.
The other day when I was walking back home from the gym, I saw this old man carrying a couple of grocery bags, sort of waddling across the street. I immediately started debating with myself about whether or not I should help him. Would it be really awkward? What if he’s already at his car? What if he’s offended because he can do it himself? I eventually decided not to help him, which is to say that I decided not to even offer to help him by carrying his bags. Afterwards, I felt like a total jerk. Anyway, I’ve since been making a more conscious effort to make myself helpful, and not refuse to help when asked. It’s been working, but in all honesty, it shouldn’t require that much effort, it should just come naturally. Which basically leads back to an inherent selfishness that we all have on some level – if it doesn’t benefit us/me directly, we/I am not going to be as willing to do it. I remember how Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz made the fact of our selfishness extremely evident, at least to me. I’m just saying that I go through ruts sometimes of being completely unhelpful, and I’m working on that. I have found ways to be successful at that, but don’t want to elaborate – I can’t help thinking of it like tithing in private, not boasting, that sort of thing. Just know that I’m trying to be helpful, and if you see me failing, let me know.
I was recently offered the pretty cool opportunity to help lead some middle school kids on a retreat in Italy for a week (I've done this trip as a leader once before, but it didn't work out too well - I wasn't quite ready). I can’t do it this time either, but for different reasons, which sucks. It interferes with the first week of my summer job, and even though I’m fine with missing that, my parents are not. So yes, I’m blaming them, but I understand where they’re coming from and will accept it. It just bothers be because, as many of you know, I’ve been looking for a chance to lead, and I feel like this would be great way to do that, plus it’s sort of like practice for the Unfettered Men next year, just in a younger, less mature, more theologically simplistic way. (For those of you who do not know, Unfettered Men of the Hill is the name of the Biblia study I’ll be leading with my brother Wyatt next year. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it, which is more meaningful I think.) So yes, it’s unfortunate that I won’t get to do that, but I’ll get over it.
Let’s see, I was reading Knowing God (J.I. Packer) the other day, and read a chapter about God’s wrath, which was interesting, given that I’ve been talking to some people the past few weeks about Christianity and the military, and how we can tell if and when a nation is ever used as an instrument of God’s will. I’m still not sure about it all, but one of the things that stood out was Packer’s description of God’s motivations in wrath vs. man’s motivations. “…God’s love, as the Bible views it, never leads him to foolish, impulsive, immoral actions in the way that its human counterpart too often leads us. And in the same way, God’s wrath in the Bible is never the capricious, self-indulgent, irritable, morally ignoble thing that human anger so often is.” He also talks about the wrath of God in terms of free will, and our punishment ultimately being our own choice: “The essence of God’s action in wrath is to give men what they choose, in all its implications: nothing more, and equally nothing less. God’s readiness to respect human choice to this extent may appear disconcerting and even terrifying, but it is plain that his attitude here is supremely just – and is poles apart from the wanton and irresponsible inflicting of pain which is what we mean by cruelty . . . what God is hereby doing is no more than to ratify and confirm judgments which those whom he ‘visits’ have already passed on themselves by the course they have chosen to follow.”
A big part of the discussions I’ve been having deals with distinguishing between the individual and the state in terms of God’s judgment. Packer uses a lot of scripture that I noticed deals primarily in the singular form. Take Luke 12:47-48: "That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Or Paul in Romans, quoting Psalm 62:12 and Proverbs 24:12, “God ‘will give to each person according to what he has done’” (Romans 2:6). There seems to be a lot of evidence to show judgment and wrath is on a personal level, and therefore states’ involvement in “God’s wrath” (particularly when this connection is implied by the state itself) carries less credibility. I am certain that there is plenty of evidence to support other opinions, but this is what I’m taking away from the book and the Biblia at the moment (which, when applied, is basically no more than saying that Crusades are bad). If you feel differently or simply have opinions on this matter that you wish to share, please feel free to leave a comment or contact me on facebook.
I’m sure there is more that I could be writing right now, but I’ve taken up a lot of space already, and I need to be going. I will be taking a short break from Knowing God in order to read/skim/check out a book I just found at the library, The Third Jesus by Deepak Chopra. You can read the book jacket summary here. Chopra’s basic premise is that there is the historical man and figure, the Son of God who represent a religion, and then a sort of general “spiritual guide whose teaching embraces all humanity, not just the church built in his name.” I’m trying very hard to approach this book with an open mind, but it appears that this “third” Jesus might just be the Jesus that Jesus wants us to follow in the first place. I’m not exactly sure where the guy is coming from, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.
That’s it for now.
Peace and love, strength and honor.
I finished reading Hermann Hesse’s Demian, which was pretty interesting. It’s about this kid, Sinclair, who meets this other kid, Demian, who talks about how you can look at the Bible in ways other than literally, which leads Sinclair to deep questioning of himself and his purpose in life, etc etc. I would have found it more challenging if Demian’s initial arguments (which could border on sacrilegious, if the reader chooses to read them that way) were not very poor in their logic and interpretation. Eventually, Sinclair reaches a point of looking to some god that is the god of good and evil (I guess if Yahweh and Satan were the same being?) in order to bring balance to his life, and find purpose and meaning. Ultimately, his goals are not much different than those of Christianity, he just tries to get there without Christ. I would need to reread it to pick up some of the more nuanced details, but as far as I can tell, he doesn’t quite get there, until WWI starts up and he starts talking about an the entire German people as having purpose and dignity. So yeah, it’s interesting, but not amazing, unless I reread and get something new and exciting out of it down the road.
Then I started reading Pride and Prejudice, which is going well. I also enjoyed my next Hitchcock adventure, North by Northwest, though not as much as Vertigo or Psycho.
Now, about my actual life, and not the lives of characters that I’ve been reading or watching.
The other day when I was walking back home from the gym, I saw this old man carrying a couple of grocery bags, sort of waddling across the street. I immediately started debating with myself about whether or not I should help him. Would it be really awkward? What if he’s already at his car? What if he’s offended because he can do it himself? I eventually decided not to help him, which is to say that I decided not to even offer to help him by carrying his bags. Afterwards, I felt like a total jerk. Anyway, I’ve since been making a more conscious effort to make myself helpful, and not refuse to help when asked. It’s been working, but in all honesty, it shouldn’t require that much effort, it should just come naturally. Which basically leads back to an inherent selfishness that we all have on some level – if it doesn’t benefit us/me directly, we/I am not going to be as willing to do it. I remember how Donald Miller’s Blue Like Jazz made the fact of our selfishness extremely evident, at least to me. I’m just saying that I go through ruts sometimes of being completely unhelpful, and I’m working on that. I have found ways to be successful at that, but don’t want to elaborate – I can’t help thinking of it like tithing in private, not boasting, that sort of thing. Just know that I’m trying to be helpful, and if you see me failing, let me know.
I was recently offered the pretty cool opportunity to help lead some middle school kids on a retreat in Italy for a week (I've done this trip as a leader once before, but it didn't work out too well - I wasn't quite ready). I can’t do it this time either, but for different reasons, which sucks. It interferes with the first week of my summer job, and even though I’m fine with missing that, my parents are not. So yes, I’m blaming them, but I understand where they’re coming from and will accept it. It just bothers be because, as many of you know, I’ve been looking for a chance to lead, and I feel like this would be great way to do that, plus it’s sort of like practice for the Unfettered Men next year, just in a younger, less mature, more theologically simplistic way. (For those of you who do not know, Unfettered Men of the Hill is the name of the Biblia study I’ll be leading with my brother Wyatt next year. And when I say brother, I don't mean, like, an actual brother, but I mean it like the way black people use it, which is more meaningful I think.) So yes, it’s unfortunate that I won’t get to do that, but I’ll get over it.
Let’s see, I was reading Knowing God (J.I. Packer) the other day, and read a chapter about God’s wrath, which was interesting, given that I’ve been talking to some people the past few weeks about Christianity and the military, and how we can tell if and when a nation is ever used as an instrument of God’s will. I’m still not sure about it all, but one of the things that stood out was Packer’s description of God’s motivations in wrath vs. man’s motivations. “…God’s love, as the Bible views it, never leads him to foolish, impulsive, immoral actions in the way that its human counterpart too often leads us. And in the same way, God’s wrath in the Bible is never the capricious, self-indulgent, irritable, morally ignoble thing that human anger so often is.” He also talks about the wrath of God in terms of free will, and our punishment ultimately being our own choice: “The essence of God’s action in wrath is to give men what they choose, in all its implications: nothing more, and equally nothing less. God’s readiness to respect human choice to this extent may appear disconcerting and even terrifying, but it is plain that his attitude here is supremely just – and is poles apart from the wanton and irresponsible inflicting of pain which is what we mean by cruelty . . . what God is hereby doing is no more than to ratify and confirm judgments which those whom he ‘visits’ have already passed on themselves by the course they have chosen to follow.”
A big part of the discussions I’ve been having deals with distinguishing between the individual and the state in terms of God’s judgment. Packer uses a lot of scripture that I noticed deals primarily in the singular form. Take Luke 12:47-48: "That servant who knows his master's will and does not get ready or does not do what his master wants will be beaten with many blows. But the one who does not know and does things deserving punishment will be beaten with few blows. From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked.” Or Paul in Romans, quoting Psalm 62:12 and Proverbs 24:12, “God ‘will give to each person according to what he has done’” (Romans 2:6). There seems to be a lot of evidence to show judgment and wrath is on a personal level, and therefore states’ involvement in “God’s wrath” (particularly when this connection is implied by the state itself) carries less credibility. I am certain that there is plenty of evidence to support other opinions, but this is what I’m taking away from the book and the Biblia at the moment (which, when applied, is basically no more than saying that Crusades are bad). If you feel differently or simply have opinions on this matter that you wish to share, please feel free to leave a comment or contact me on facebook.
I’m sure there is more that I could be writing right now, but I’ve taken up a lot of space already, and I need to be going. I will be taking a short break from Knowing God in order to read/skim/check out a book I just found at the library, The Third Jesus by Deepak Chopra. You can read the book jacket summary here. Chopra’s basic premise is that there is the historical man and figure, the Son of God who represent a religion, and then a sort of general “spiritual guide whose teaching embraces all humanity, not just the church built in his name.” I’m trying very hard to approach this book with an open mind, but it appears that this “third” Jesus might just be the Jesus that Jesus wants us to follow in the first place. I’m not exactly sure where the guy is coming from, but I’ll let you know when I figure it out.
That’s it for now.
Peace and love, strength and honor.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
It's All Happening
So I was watching The Simpsons, and Lisa walked into the kitchen while Marge was squeezing ketchup out of packets and into a bottle. She said, “This is how I save money on ketchup and mustard.” Lisa asked, “Do you do it with relish?” and Marge responded, “No, I’m actually kind of embarrassed about it.” It was amazing, and I wanted to share it with you.
I also watched Amistad today. I love that movie. A lot of people complain about how it distorts the historical accuracy (my response: watch a documentary) or point out that the characters are a bit one-dimensional (my response: the characters are passionate – they are dealing with controversial issues about which they have strong opinions. How do you behave when you have a true passion? Are you not a little one-dimensional, seeking only your goal, to put your point across regardless of what anyone else may say, however reasoned or not they may be? Not one-dimensional. Impassioned.) I don’t wholly disagree with these arguments, I just don’t really care about them. Emotional reaction is far more important than depth, though I feel this movie has both. Anyway, all I really want to bring up is the scene when one of the African prisoners explains to Cinque, the sort of leader of the prisoners, about Jesus’ story based on pictures in a Bible. He explained that he was put on trial and put to death. Cinque said, “He must have done something.” But the one with the Bible asked, “Why? What have we done?” This is a good point given the circumstances, but this is what it made me think: Christ was innocent, but he lost his trial (as the prisoners’ lawyer, Baldwin, pointed out earlier in the film). We are guilty, but we win ours. He was punished for no reason; we are rewarded for no reason. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. Not a particularly original thought or realization, I know, but I like the legal imagery.
Anyway, while I’m talking about movies, I want to talk about some others. I watch Psycho for the first time last night. It was amazing. It takes just a few minutes to get into the movie, but once you’re in it, you can’t get out, and when the woman, Marion Crane, gets to the Bates Motel and we get to see Norman Bates, you just can’t take your eyes off him. He’s absolutely fascinating, as is Marion. The way his hand hesitates over the keys, wondering whether he should give her a normal cabin, or the one with the peephole from his office. The way she reacts so normally to his hobby – taxidermy. The way he smiles through his stuttering. The way she smiles when she steps into the shower. It’s all so utterly enthralling - brilliant performances, and a patience in the direction that keeps the tension building until you find yourself begging for some kind of release, something to tell us what’s going on (if you think Lost teases and taunts you, just wait until you see this). I won’t spoil the movie for you, because it is a Hitchcock thriller, and that means there are some twists involved. My only question is whether this film, given it’s thriller/mystery nature, will be as good the second time around. A movie’s watchability is a big deal to me – if it’s not as good the second or third time around, odds are it won’t remain a favorite of mine for long, and that is a major problem with thrillers. Once you know what’s going to happen, is it as good the next time it occurs. This is my problem with movies like The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense, Memento. Watch it once to see what happens, watch it again to see how it happened (and why you didn’t see it coming). Watch it a third time, and well, what’s the point? I have a feeling, though, that this one will stick with me for a good long while. I don’t know why I’ve waited this long to start watching Hitchcock, but I’m looking forward to whatever I see next (probably North by Northwest).
I love movies. Scratch that. I love good movies, captivating movies, enthralling movies, intriquing movies. Movies that demand something from you, some kind of personal investment, be it simply your eyes so that you can’t move them from the screen, or your mind, challenging your thoughts, forcing you to reason and form opinions about the actions, or perhaps even issues outside the realm of the film. Or be it your heart so that you want so sincerely and passionately for something good to happen to a character that, odd as it sounds, you come to love. I want to give you some more examples of movies that do this for me. (Note: I am not necessarily saying that these are the best films ever, or even that they would make a list of my favorite movies ever, only that they illicit strong emotions and reactions, at least from me.)
Cinderella Man – Okay, this movie is a little predictable. It’s about a boxer during the Great Depression who needs to make a comeback so that his family can eat. You know what is going to happen, you know what has to happen in order for the world to keep revolving. But for some reason, you convince yourself that it might not. I found myself cheering for the main character at least as hard as I cheer for our Tar Heels, though less vocally, because I wanted so much for him to win, for the bad guy to lose, and for his family to be alright. And the silence before the announcement was so unbearable I wanted to jump up and yell, “Just tell us already!” (Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself.) My point is that this movie is so delicately put together, and the performance by Russell Crowe so sincere, that I came to love him and his family and his trainer (Paul Giamatti, the guy who should have won George Clooney’s Oscar), and I simply couldn’t imagine what would happen if things didn’t turn out okay for them. Really powerful stuff.
The Talented Mr. Ripley – What a fascinating character portrait. Matt Damon, who never fails to impress me, play Tom Ripley, a sociopathic, (possibly homosexual?), identity-stealing murderer. But he’s kind of sweet. You know, in a kind of an endearing, albeit creepy, way. Conflicted emotions on the part of the viewer. You know he’s bad, possibly evil, probably mentally insane, and guilty. But when he’s almost caught, I didn’t want him to get caught. The movie sets him up as the protagonist (or at least not the antagonist). He’s the main character, and you can understand where he’s coming from. You can almost relate with him. Almost. Anyway, I won’t forget when I realized that I was pulling for him to get away with it and I stopped myself and said, “Wait, you fool! He’s not right in the head and he’s done bad things! He should get caught so that justice can be served!” But then I stopped myself again and retorted (to myself), “Aw, come on. He’s just lonely, he wanted to be somebody. Can’t we all comprehend that a little bit? He messed up, sure, but maybe now he’ll leave everyone alone.” It was totally bizarre. Check it out, it’s totally captivating.
Nashville – An 1975 Robert Altman movie that is basically about a bunch of people trying to make it big in Nashville. I doubt that many people in my generation would enjoy this movie, although it is widely considered to be among the greatest American films. I don’t think there are many aspects of American life that are not represented here. There is one scene that totally messes with my mind. A singer, Tom, is performing a song in a club. There are three women in the club who all think he is singing specifically to her. One, Mary, is in a music group with him (except he recently quit the band without notice). Another, Opal, is a strange bird from the BBC doing a piece on Nashville who shared a night with Tom and thinks he may be “the one.” The third is Linnea (magnificent nuance from Lily Tomlin). This is the woman he is actually singing to (or so we are led to believe). She is married, and against better judgment decided to come to see him at the club after he called her house a few times. It is implied, but never made certain that they have a history. Before she goes to see him, and before he starts singing, she is unsure of why she is there, why she is giving in, perhaps doesn’t even truly want to be there. But then he starts his song, and she gives in (this would be the nuance I mentioned). Her face, her eyes, her breathing, it all changes, but only slightly, and she prepares herself to enter his world, however sinful, however much she may regret it.
Watching this scene creates more of the conflicting emotions I mentioned in The Talented Mr. Ripley. You know that everything about Tom is wrong – his lifestyle, the way he is using these women, the way he ignores people – he’s totally selfish. But man, his music and his passion, it’s not hard to see why the women are after him, why they want to believe he loves only them. And as a guy, honestly, it’s hard not to feel just a tinge of jealousy and awe. I mean, it’s kind of impressive to be able to do that to women without really even trying. So yeah. Why do I like this movie? Part of it is the whole movie, and I can’t really explain that. Part of it is in the scenes like this, where there is just so much more going on than a guy on stage singing a song and people in seats listening. So much more.
Almost Famous – This one would go on a list of my favorite movies ever because it is my favorite movie ever. I’m not sure why, but it is. It never bores you – it is constantly entertaining. In case you don’t know, it’s about a 15-year-old kid who gets a job writing for Rolling Stone magazine (by lying to them over the phone about his age) – his assignment is to write about his favorite band, Stillwater (modeled primarily after The Allman Brothers Band). He’s basically just a sweet kid who is in no way prepared to enter the rock and roll world of “compromised values and diminished brain cells.” But he makes it work with the help of some good folks along the way, namely Penny Lane (Kate Hudson, who finds a way to be freaking hot and stunningly beautiful at the same time – not an easy task). Something about the music, the relationships, the band antics, it’s all so cool! And watching the kid find a way to stay objective in his writing about people he grows to love is at times heart-warming and at other times heart-breaking. It’s a crazy cool fun wild ride, and they take you right along with them. It’s a great adventure.
Anyway, I’m not sure why these particular movies have been on my mind lately, but I love them and many more. Please let me know what you think of them, any of the ones I mentioned. I am hoping to have a few mass screening of some movies next year, though not necessarily the ones I mentioned. At least Almost Famous, Lawrence of Arabia, The Godfather, Schindler’s List, and Gandhi (these other four are equally, and truthfully even more amazing, and even more impressive due to their epic nature) will be among them, I hope.
That’s it for now.
(Thanks Jonathan.)
Peace. Much love. It’s all happening.
I also watched Amistad today. I love that movie. A lot of people complain about how it distorts the historical accuracy (my response: watch a documentary) or point out that the characters are a bit one-dimensional (my response: the characters are passionate – they are dealing with controversial issues about which they have strong opinions. How do you behave when you have a true passion? Are you not a little one-dimensional, seeking only your goal, to put your point across regardless of what anyone else may say, however reasoned or not they may be? Not one-dimensional. Impassioned.) I don’t wholly disagree with these arguments, I just don’t really care about them. Emotional reaction is far more important than depth, though I feel this movie has both. Anyway, all I really want to bring up is the scene when one of the African prisoners explains to Cinque, the sort of leader of the prisoners, about Jesus’ story based on pictures in a Bible. He explained that he was put on trial and put to death. Cinque said, “He must have done something.” But the one with the Bible asked, “Why? What have we done?” This is a good point given the circumstances, but this is what it made me think: Christ was innocent, but he lost his trial (as the prisoners’ lawyer, Baldwin, pointed out earlier in the film). We are guilty, but we win ours. He was punished for no reason; we are rewarded for no reason. It doesn’t make sense, but it’s true. Not a particularly original thought or realization, I know, but I like the legal imagery.
Anyway, while I’m talking about movies, I want to talk about some others. I watch Psycho for the first time last night. It was amazing. It takes just a few minutes to get into the movie, but once you’re in it, you can’t get out, and when the woman, Marion Crane, gets to the Bates Motel and we get to see Norman Bates, you just can’t take your eyes off him. He’s absolutely fascinating, as is Marion. The way his hand hesitates over the keys, wondering whether he should give her a normal cabin, or the one with the peephole from his office. The way she reacts so normally to his hobby – taxidermy. The way he smiles through his stuttering. The way she smiles when she steps into the shower. It’s all so utterly enthralling - brilliant performances, and a patience in the direction that keeps the tension building until you find yourself begging for some kind of release, something to tell us what’s going on (if you think Lost teases and taunts you, just wait until you see this). I won’t spoil the movie for you, because it is a Hitchcock thriller, and that means there are some twists involved. My only question is whether this film, given it’s thriller/mystery nature, will be as good the second time around. A movie’s watchability is a big deal to me – if it’s not as good the second or third time around, odds are it won’t remain a favorite of mine for long, and that is a major problem with thrillers. Once you know what’s going to happen, is it as good the next time it occurs. This is my problem with movies like The Usual Suspects, The Sixth Sense, Memento. Watch it once to see what happens, watch it again to see how it happened (and why you didn’t see it coming). Watch it a third time, and well, what’s the point? I have a feeling, though, that this one will stick with me for a good long while. I don’t know why I’ve waited this long to start watching Hitchcock, but I’m looking forward to whatever I see next (probably North by Northwest).
I love movies. Scratch that. I love good movies, captivating movies, enthralling movies, intriquing movies. Movies that demand something from you, some kind of personal investment, be it simply your eyes so that you can’t move them from the screen, or your mind, challenging your thoughts, forcing you to reason and form opinions about the actions, or perhaps even issues outside the realm of the film. Or be it your heart so that you want so sincerely and passionately for something good to happen to a character that, odd as it sounds, you come to love. I want to give you some more examples of movies that do this for me. (Note: I am not necessarily saying that these are the best films ever, or even that they would make a list of my favorite movies ever, only that they illicit strong emotions and reactions, at least from me.)
Cinderella Man – Okay, this movie is a little predictable. It’s about a boxer during the Great Depression who needs to make a comeback so that his family can eat. You know what is going to happen, you know what has to happen in order for the world to keep revolving. But for some reason, you convince yourself that it might not. I found myself cheering for the main character at least as hard as I cheer for our Tar Heels, though less vocally, because I wanted so much for him to win, for the bad guy to lose, and for his family to be alright. And the silence before the announcement was so unbearable I wanted to jump up and yell, “Just tell us already!” (Fortunately, I was able to restrain myself.) My point is that this movie is so delicately put together, and the performance by Russell Crowe so sincere, that I came to love him and his family and his trainer (Paul Giamatti, the guy who should have won George Clooney’s Oscar), and I simply couldn’t imagine what would happen if things didn’t turn out okay for them. Really powerful stuff.
The Talented Mr. Ripley – What a fascinating character portrait. Matt Damon, who never fails to impress me, play Tom Ripley, a sociopathic, (possibly homosexual?), identity-stealing murderer. But he’s kind of sweet. You know, in a kind of an endearing, albeit creepy, way. Conflicted emotions on the part of the viewer. You know he’s bad, possibly evil, probably mentally insane, and guilty. But when he’s almost caught, I didn’t want him to get caught. The movie sets him up as the protagonist (or at least not the antagonist). He’s the main character, and you can understand where he’s coming from. You can almost relate with him. Almost. Anyway, I won’t forget when I realized that I was pulling for him to get away with it and I stopped myself and said, “Wait, you fool! He’s not right in the head and he’s done bad things! He should get caught so that justice can be served!” But then I stopped myself again and retorted (to myself), “Aw, come on. He’s just lonely, he wanted to be somebody. Can’t we all comprehend that a little bit? He messed up, sure, but maybe now he’ll leave everyone alone.” It was totally bizarre. Check it out, it’s totally captivating.
Nashville – An 1975 Robert Altman movie that is basically about a bunch of people trying to make it big in Nashville. I doubt that many people in my generation would enjoy this movie, although it is widely considered to be among the greatest American films. I don’t think there are many aspects of American life that are not represented here. There is one scene that totally messes with my mind. A singer, Tom, is performing a song in a club. There are three women in the club who all think he is singing specifically to her. One, Mary, is in a music group with him (except he recently quit the band without notice). Another, Opal, is a strange bird from the BBC doing a piece on Nashville who shared a night with Tom and thinks he may be “the one.” The third is Linnea (magnificent nuance from Lily Tomlin). This is the woman he is actually singing to (or so we are led to believe). She is married, and against better judgment decided to come to see him at the club after he called her house a few times. It is implied, but never made certain that they have a history. Before she goes to see him, and before he starts singing, she is unsure of why she is there, why she is giving in, perhaps doesn’t even truly want to be there. But then he starts his song, and she gives in (this would be the nuance I mentioned). Her face, her eyes, her breathing, it all changes, but only slightly, and she prepares herself to enter his world, however sinful, however much she may regret it.
Watching this scene creates more of the conflicting emotions I mentioned in The Talented Mr. Ripley. You know that everything about Tom is wrong – his lifestyle, the way he is using these women, the way he ignores people – he’s totally selfish. But man, his music and his passion, it’s not hard to see why the women are after him, why they want to believe he loves only them. And as a guy, honestly, it’s hard not to feel just a tinge of jealousy and awe. I mean, it’s kind of impressive to be able to do that to women without really even trying. So yeah. Why do I like this movie? Part of it is the whole movie, and I can’t really explain that. Part of it is in the scenes like this, where there is just so much more going on than a guy on stage singing a song and people in seats listening. So much more.
Almost Famous – This one would go on a list of my favorite movies ever because it is my favorite movie ever. I’m not sure why, but it is. It never bores you – it is constantly entertaining. In case you don’t know, it’s about a 15-year-old kid who gets a job writing for Rolling Stone magazine (by lying to them over the phone about his age) – his assignment is to write about his favorite band, Stillwater (modeled primarily after The Allman Brothers Band). He’s basically just a sweet kid who is in no way prepared to enter the rock and roll world of “compromised values and diminished brain cells.” But he makes it work with the help of some good folks along the way, namely Penny Lane (Kate Hudson, who finds a way to be freaking hot and stunningly beautiful at the same time – not an easy task). Something about the music, the relationships, the band antics, it’s all so cool! And watching the kid find a way to stay objective in his writing about people he grows to love is at times heart-warming and at other times heart-breaking. It’s a crazy cool fun wild ride, and they take you right along with them. It’s a great adventure.
Anyway, I’m not sure why these particular movies have been on my mind lately, but I love them and many more. Please let me know what you think of them, any of the ones I mentioned. I am hoping to have a few mass screening of some movies next year, though not necessarily the ones I mentioned. At least Almost Famous, Lawrence of Arabia, The Godfather, Schindler’s List, and Gandhi (these other four are equally, and truthfully even more amazing, and even more impressive due to their epic nature) will be among them, I hope.
That’s it for now.
(Thanks Jonathan.)
Peace. Much love. It’s all happening.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
I am not, but I am not afraid.
Short entry tonight.
First, I just want to thank all of you who actually read this thing. I've realized lately that there may be more of you than I thought. I mean, when I put up a new post, I'll put the link in my facebook status for a little while, but I never imagined that people looked it up. I could say more, but I'd rather keep this brief, and I don't know what else to say but Thank You.
As for recent developments, well, I watched the entire 6th season of The West Wing, because I have an addiction. It's not a problem. I can quit whenever I want to. It's just that I don't want to.
I finally finished my re-reading of Life of Pi. I loved it even more this time, and I've decided that if you've read the book and accept anything other than Pi's story including the animals and Richard Parker as the absolute truth - that is to say, if you believe the story at the end involving the cook and his mother, or any variation between the two - then you've missed the point of the book. Just my opinion.
That's it for now. Prayers with Dan who is on his way to Singapore as I type, and with everyone else who's on their own right now. Peace.
First, I just want to thank all of you who actually read this thing. I've realized lately that there may be more of you than I thought. I mean, when I put up a new post, I'll put the link in my facebook status for a little while, but I never imagined that people looked it up. I could say more, but I'd rather keep this brief, and I don't know what else to say but Thank You.
As for recent developments, well, I watched the entire 6th season of The West Wing, because I have an addiction. It's not a problem. I can quit whenever I want to. It's just that I don't want to.
I finally finished my re-reading of Life of Pi. I loved it even more this time, and I've decided that if you've read the book and accept anything other than Pi's story including the animals and Richard Parker as the absolute truth - that is to say, if you believe the story at the end involving the cook and his mother, or any variation between the two - then you've missed the point of the book. Just my opinion.
That's it for now. Prayers with Dan who is on his way to Singapore as I type, and with everyone else who's on their own right now. Peace.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Strength to the weary, power to the faint
I've been thinking about some stuff lately, some stuff about myself, trying to get some things worked out, and I've really not been enjoying it. So now I'm going to get some of it off my chest, be "vulnerable," or be what it really feels like I'm being: weak. But whatever. If anyone doesn't feel like wallowing in my self-pity and confusion with me, feel free to leave now. But if anyone is interested in getting to know me a lot better, stick around and you might learn something.
I truly believe that I have been gifted with strong leadership skills. I believe I am a leader. But I've got a feeling that a lot of you out there don't believe that. I've got a feeling that the incredibly small number of you actually reading this is a testament to how much you disagree that I am a leader. That's because you probably haven't seen me leading anything this year. I'm not even sure I can think of the last time I led anything or anyone in anything this year. But that's my point. I've been so inwardly focused during this past semester. (Please, go back and see how many times I've used the word "I" so far this entry as proof.) Now, that isn't necessarily a bad thing, to be inwardly focused. I think I've really gotten a lot of things right with God, I've made stronger commitments to my faith, and my spiritual life has been growing in good ways. But I've had to force myself to be extremely vulnerable with some people in order to work through some it all.
I don't mind being vulnerable. I mind being weak. And at some point I think I crossed that line. I don't know when or how, but for some reason I feel like crap about it as I look back, and I can't explain it.
Oh jeez, I'm just looking up and down at what I've written so far and none of it makes sense, I'm just rambling. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm trying to say.
Okay, I'm just gonna start with some thoughts that have been bugging me lately.
I hope this is ludicrous and all in my head, but I don't always feel like I fit in with my friends. The only comparison I can think of is me as Peter Pettigrew, tagging along with all the cool kids at Hogwarts, only pretending to fit in. Something inside is nagging away at me, "What are you doing here? You don't belong here," and it drives me crazy.
It bugs me that most of my friends will be able to drink legally by the end of our junior year and I'll have to wait until senior year because I have an August birthday.
It bugs me that I'm 5'6''. I hate seeing pictures people post on facebook where I'm a head shorter than everyone around me, and it seems like that's the case in pretty much all the pictures people post on facebook, though I'm probably only saying that because those are the ones I remember. It bugs me that this particular point bugs me, because I should know better than to care about something I can't control and that ultimately doesn't matter, but apparently I don't know better.
Back to leadership. I have retreated this past semester in order to take my spiritual life more seriously - I needed to rework some things with myself. And I figured that when I had done that, I would be ready to hopefully start taking a leadership position in my everyday life and relationships. The problem is that by the time I was ready to do that, the year was over. In high school, I knew who depended on me for guidance and trusted me for leadership. And I loved helping them because it seemed like something I was put there for, I felt like I was fulfilling a purpose. I can now see that I would occasionally act selflessly, only so that I could selfishly tell myself how selfless I was. I do regret that now that I see it, but that doesn't change the fact that I was able to lead. But now? I've missed opportunities to put myself in those positions, and I have an overwhelming fear that my chance is gone and I'll be stuck in a place of complaining and trying to work through my own problems (much like I am wasting time and energy doing right now). Because I have shown practically no strength whatsoever this year, no one has had the chance to see me strong, so next year, who will trust me to deliver? I can feel and see that no one truly expects strength from me, and I will never again get the opportunity to focus outwardly. At least, that is what my fear is telling me.
I have relied on others during this past year more than I ever have before, and now I can see the affects that has had on my life. No one any longer relies on me, and I can no longer rely on myself. And that is not a fun place to be. Even in writing this, I am putting all of my doubts and self-pity out there for anyone to see, and I can only pray that it comes across as vulnerability, which is what I intend it as, and not as weakness, which is what I fear it is. I do not regret this recent vulnerability (although I do sometimes wish it were reciprocated so I could return the enormous favors others have done for me), but I wish it wouldn't bother me so much now. And I can't figure out just why exactly it does bother me.
Change of subject. Girls. Let's talk about fear. This one really bugs me, but I know that that is probably mostly my fault. All throughout high school, girls kept on telling me, "You're just not the kind of guy that high school girls are looking for." This was a polite way of saying I was too short, not at all attractive, and despite being smart, funny, sweet, and mature, I would constantly be overshadowed by the football players and such with their popped collars and ribbed condoms (for her pleasure). I was always comforted, though, by the follow up, "But in college, you'll be exactly the kind of guy that girls are looking for." Thus far, this has proved untrue. I'm actually okay with that. What I'm not okay with is my inability to determine why it is untrue. Is it that the girls have not changed, or that I have? Has the apparent weakness I described earlier actually infilitrated the minds of the opposite sex and made me even less appealing than I already was, even though my retreat from extroversion was primarily an effort to strengthen my relationship with God? Please don't tell me I got cockblocked by God without His even making an effort. I mean, this is serious stuff here! I haven't been pro-active because it scares me. Rejection scares me. I don't know how to date. I don't know how to be a boyfriend. This scares me. I don't get "crushes" in the typical sense of the word, and that really scares me because half the time I don't even know where my emotions lie.
I have so much fear in me right now. I can see it all happening. My friends will realize that I don't fit in with them, and they will abandon me, and once they cast me out of their circle, I won't be able to form new relationships elsewhere because everyone else will already be established within themselves. So then I won't be able to use the strength I feel I finally re-established at the end of my semester-long personal retreat, and I'll be forced back into weakness (which may manifest itself in the form of long and seemingly pointless self-pitying blog entries). Not to mention, of course, that I will never find a girl I like, nor a girl who likes me, and I will die a virgin. I can see it all happening.
Fortunately, I know that God is on my side (even though I'm pretty sure if we went to a party together, he would be the one who walks away with the girl). I do have faith in his wisdom, and I know that this is all probably just in my head and it will work out for the best next year. I'll be co-leading a Biblia study where I hope good things will be happening both in personal relationships and for the community. I'll be pursuing stronger friendships with my brothers and sisters. And I'll get the chance to lead the way I know I can. I just don't know how.
Look, this little rant is not depression or low self-esteem or anything weird like that. I'm not having an existential crisis or grave spiritual doubts. I don't want you all to try to cheer me up. If you have something you want to say about how crazy I am acting, feel free. You know if you're someone I'd want or need to hear that from (and if you think you're someone I need to hear from, make sure I hear from you, it would be helpful), and you know that facebook messages tend to make me marginally happier anyway.
I don't know why I felt the need to put so much of this out in the open, but it was eating me up a little bit, and now hopefully I can start focusing on strength because of the one who is my strength.
"Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power, not one is missing." -- Isaiah 40:26
Peace be upon you.
I truly believe that I have been gifted with strong leadership skills. I believe I am a leader. But I've got a feeling that a lot of you out there don't believe that. I've got a feeling that the incredibly small number of you actually reading this is a testament to how much you disagree that I am a leader. That's because you probably haven't seen me leading anything this year. I'm not even sure I can think of the last time I led anything or anyone in anything this year. But that's my point. I've been so inwardly focused during this past semester. (Please, go back and see how many times I've used the word "I" so far this entry as proof.) Now, that isn't necessarily a bad thing, to be inwardly focused. I think I've really gotten a lot of things right with God, I've made stronger commitments to my faith, and my spiritual life has been growing in good ways. But I've had to force myself to be extremely vulnerable with some people in order to work through some it all.
I don't mind being vulnerable. I mind being weak. And at some point I think I crossed that line. I don't know when or how, but for some reason I feel like crap about it as I look back, and I can't explain it.
Oh jeez, I'm just looking up and down at what I've written so far and none of it makes sense, I'm just rambling. I don't know what I'm doing or what I'm trying to say.
Okay, I'm just gonna start with some thoughts that have been bugging me lately.
I hope this is ludicrous and all in my head, but I don't always feel like I fit in with my friends. The only comparison I can think of is me as Peter Pettigrew, tagging along with all the cool kids at Hogwarts, only pretending to fit in. Something inside is nagging away at me, "What are you doing here? You don't belong here," and it drives me crazy.
It bugs me that most of my friends will be able to drink legally by the end of our junior year and I'll have to wait until senior year because I have an August birthday.
It bugs me that I'm 5'6''. I hate seeing pictures people post on facebook where I'm a head shorter than everyone around me, and it seems like that's the case in pretty much all the pictures people post on facebook, though I'm probably only saying that because those are the ones I remember. It bugs me that this particular point bugs me, because I should know better than to care about something I can't control and that ultimately doesn't matter, but apparently I don't know better.
Back to leadership. I have retreated this past semester in order to take my spiritual life more seriously - I needed to rework some things with myself. And I figured that when I had done that, I would be ready to hopefully start taking a leadership position in my everyday life and relationships. The problem is that by the time I was ready to do that, the year was over. In high school, I knew who depended on me for guidance and trusted me for leadership. And I loved helping them because it seemed like something I was put there for, I felt like I was fulfilling a purpose. I can now see that I would occasionally act selflessly, only so that I could selfishly tell myself how selfless I was. I do regret that now that I see it, but that doesn't change the fact that I was able to lead. But now? I've missed opportunities to put myself in those positions, and I have an overwhelming fear that my chance is gone and I'll be stuck in a place of complaining and trying to work through my own problems (much like I am wasting time and energy doing right now). Because I have shown practically no strength whatsoever this year, no one has had the chance to see me strong, so next year, who will trust me to deliver? I can feel and see that no one truly expects strength from me, and I will never again get the opportunity to focus outwardly. At least, that is what my fear is telling me.
I have relied on others during this past year more than I ever have before, and now I can see the affects that has had on my life. No one any longer relies on me, and I can no longer rely on myself. And that is not a fun place to be. Even in writing this, I am putting all of my doubts and self-pity out there for anyone to see, and I can only pray that it comes across as vulnerability, which is what I intend it as, and not as weakness, which is what I fear it is. I do not regret this recent vulnerability (although I do sometimes wish it were reciprocated so I could return the enormous favors others have done for me), but I wish it wouldn't bother me so much now. And I can't figure out just why exactly it does bother me.
Change of subject. Girls. Let's talk about fear. This one really bugs me, but I know that that is probably mostly my fault. All throughout high school, girls kept on telling me, "You're just not the kind of guy that high school girls are looking for." This was a polite way of saying I was too short, not at all attractive, and despite being smart, funny, sweet, and mature, I would constantly be overshadowed by the football players and such with their popped collars and ribbed condoms (for her pleasure). I was always comforted, though, by the follow up, "But in college, you'll be exactly the kind of guy that girls are looking for." Thus far, this has proved untrue. I'm actually okay with that. What I'm not okay with is my inability to determine why it is untrue. Is it that the girls have not changed, or that I have? Has the apparent weakness I described earlier actually infilitrated the minds of the opposite sex and made me even less appealing than I already was, even though my retreat from extroversion was primarily an effort to strengthen my relationship with God? Please don't tell me I got cockblocked by God without His even making an effort. I mean, this is serious stuff here! I haven't been pro-active because it scares me. Rejection scares me. I don't know how to date. I don't know how to be a boyfriend. This scares me. I don't get "crushes" in the typical sense of the word, and that really scares me because half the time I don't even know where my emotions lie.
I have so much fear in me right now. I can see it all happening. My friends will realize that I don't fit in with them, and they will abandon me, and once they cast me out of their circle, I won't be able to form new relationships elsewhere because everyone else will already be established within themselves. So then I won't be able to use the strength I feel I finally re-established at the end of my semester-long personal retreat, and I'll be forced back into weakness (which may manifest itself in the form of long and seemingly pointless self-pitying blog entries). Not to mention, of course, that I will never find a girl I like, nor a girl who likes me, and I will die a virgin. I can see it all happening.
Fortunately, I know that God is on my side (even though I'm pretty sure if we went to a party together, he would be the one who walks away with the girl). I do have faith in his wisdom, and I know that this is all probably just in my head and it will work out for the best next year. I'll be co-leading a Biblia study where I hope good things will be happening both in personal relationships and for the community. I'll be pursuing stronger friendships with my brothers and sisters. And I'll get the chance to lead the way I know I can. I just don't know how.
Look, this little rant is not depression or low self-esteem or anything weird like that. I'm not having an existential crisis or grave spiritual doubts. I don't want you all to try to cheer me up. If you have something you want to say about how crazy I am acting, feel free. You know if you're someone I'd want or need to hear that from (and if you think you're someone I need to hear from, make sure I hear from you, it would be helpful), and you know that facebook messages tend to make me marginally happier anyway.
I don't know why I felt the need to put so much of this out in the open, but it was eating me up a little bit, and now hopefully I can start focusing on strength because of the one who is my strength.
"Lift up your eyes on high and see: who created these? He who brings out their host by number, calling them all by name, by the greatness of his might, and because he is strong in power, not one is missing." -- Isaiah 40:26
Peace be upon you.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Just Passing the Time
Okay, I have nothing particularly profound to share with you today, but I felt like writing something, so here I am updating all of you on what I've been up to lately.
Watching:
Entourage - Season 3, Part 1
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 2
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - the first and only season :(
Keeping up with the Hitchcock this summer, I watched Vertigo, and Psycho is next.
Reading:
Slowly getting through Life of Pi, I need to work harder on that.
Haven't picked up American Pastoral in a while, but I plan to tomorrow.
Gonna start trying to get through 2 chapters of Knowing God each day. It's really good, even if it is a little dense. But from what I've heard about how dense Mere Christianity is (which I also plan to read this summer), it should be a good preparation.
And in the Biblia, I finished Isaiah, and both Peters; next are Exodus and Matthew.
Listening to:
Acoustic Soul, India Arie
The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey
The College Dropout, Kanye West
Worship, Michael W. Smith
and I just started looking for some Derek Webb, since a bunch of my friends have a mild (and what I'm certain is a very healthy) obsession with him, and I wanna know what the deal is.
And that's what's happening in my world.
A good friend of mine who I love and respect enormously recently started up his own blog and wrote his first entry about "redemptive violence" - using violence as a means to create good, and why he doesn't feel this is a solid Christian notion given Jesus' words on loving our enemies and turning the other cheek. I agree, but I had a few questions, and hopefully we're gonna talk on it and figure some stuff out. I might let you know how it goes, if he doesn't do something similar on his own page.
I really liked a chapter I read in Knowing God about to what extent and how we should use images of Christ in daily life and in terms of worship. I would tell you about it, but it would just end up as me telling you what J.I. Packer said, so I'll just mention the main ideas. Basically, he says that we need to make sure we have a balance between symbolic representational images. Representational images are what we need to avoid because they attempt to show what God or Jesus actually look like, which is something we cannot comprehend, and in trying to show it, we diminish the glory and power of God. Also, because they give us mental images of God, we can pray to or worship God as if he were synonymous with those images (even if we don't realize we're doing it), and therefore violate the second commandment. Symbolic images (usually coming from artistic expression) are okay, as long as we do not let them become representational in our hearts or minds. So that's basically what Packer had to say on that, and for the most part, I agree. Feel free to contest it or ask questions, but know that Packer made his argument a lot better than I can, and I really recommend looking it up to see for yourself.
Other than that, though, not much going on (except I've been getting to the gym more).
I definitely know what I plan on writing about sometime soon, but I'm still working it out in my head, so check back. Peace be with you until then.
Watching:
Entourage - Season 3, Part 1
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Season 2
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip - the first and only season :(
Keeping up with the Hitchcock this summer, I watched Vertigo, and Psycho is next.
Reading:
Slowly getting through Life of Pi, I need to work harder on that.
Haven't picked up American Pastoral in a while, but I plan to tomorrow.
Gonna start trying to get through 2 chapters of Knowing God each day. It's really good, even if it is a little dense. But from what I've heard about how dense Mere Christianity is (which I also plan to read this summer), it should be a good preparation.
And in the Biblia, I finished Isaiah, and both Peters; next are Exodus and Matthew.
Listening to:
Acoustic Soul, India Arie
The Emancipation of Mimi, Mariah Carey
The College Dropout, Kanye West
Worship, Michael W. Smith
and I just started looking for some Derek Webb, since a bunch of my friends have a mild (and what I'm certain is a very healthy) obsession with him, and I wanna know what the deal is.
And that's what's happening in my world.
A good friend of mine who I love and respect enormously recently started up his own blog and wrote his first entry about "redemptive violence" - using violence as a means to create good, and why he doesn't feel this is a solid Christian notion given Jesus' words on loving our enemies and turning the other cheek. I agree, but I had a few questions, and hopefully we're gonna talk on it and figure some stuff out. I might let you know how it goes, if he doesn't do something similar on his own page.
I really liked a chapter I read in Knowing God about to what extent and how we should use images of Christ in daily life and in terms of worship. I would tell you about it, but it would just end up as me telling you what J.I. Packer said, so I'll just mention the main ideas. Basically, he says that we need to make sure we have a balance between symbolic representational images. Representational images are what we need to avoid because they attempt to show what God or Jesus actually look like, which is something we cannot comprehend, and in trying to show it, we diminish the glory and power of God. Also, because they give us mental images of God, we can pray to or worship God as if he were synonymous with those images (even if we don't realize we're doing it), and therefore violate the second commandment. Symbolic images (usually coming from artistic expression) are okay, as long as we do not let them become representational in our hearts or minds. So that's basically what Packer had to say on that, and for the most part, I agree. Feel free to contest it or ask questions, but know that Packer made his argument a lot better than I can, and I really recommend looking it up to see for yourself.
Other than that, though, not much going on (except I've been getting to the gym more).
I definitely know what I plan on writing about sometime soon, but I'm still working it out in my head, so check back. Peace be with you until then.
Friday, May 16, 2008
Summertime, and the livin' is easy; or, Election '08 - You Decide!
Ah, summertime.
Has the boredome hit you yet? It's hit me in some ways, not in others. I don't feel like I have nothing to do with myself, so I suppose that's good. However, I don't always want to do the things that are available. I'm in the middle of 4 books right now, and I rarely seem to feel like reading them. There's a good workout room on post, but I can't spend all day there, right? Perhaps there are myriad other ways for me to spend my time and I simply haven't found them yet...perhaps I accidentally or subconsciously found them but already wrote them off in my mind without actually giving them a chance...hmm, that's a thought that could really mess me up later.
Anyway, how about a few updates?
Currently Reading:
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
American Pastoral by Philip Roth
Forrest Gump by Winston Groom
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
and in the Biblia - Isaiah and 1 Peter
Currently Watching:
MASH, Season 1
Entourage, Season 2
and watching some old Hitchcock - Vertigo, North by Northwest, Rebecca, Psycho...
Currently Listening To:
Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics
the soundtrack to Aladdin
and, as always, Jars of Clay, Norah Jones, and Nickel Creek
So yeah, that's happening.
By the way, I stumbled upon a great passage from Life of Pi the other day. It looks like it could be based in or inspired by a passage in James, but I'm not entirely sure that was the author's source. See what you think:
"There are always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless. These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think, 'Business as usual.' But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.
These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush." -- Yann Martell, Life of Pi
"22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -- James 1:22-27
Scriptural precedence, or just plain common sense? You decide! Election '08.
Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Uh, well, uh, okay. Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it, but I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is: I. Hate. Sauerkraut! That's all I'm really tryin' to say, and, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandry, full of loathing and self-doubt, and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place called Albuquerque (or, Seventeenth Slate).
Whoa, where did that come from?
I suppose I'm going to go quench my boredom elsewhere, now. If anyone is out there reading this (ha, yeah right), and has any questions, or recommendations for entry topics, or anything like that, please please please let me know. Leave a comment, or message me on facebook. It's a good way to keep in touch and a great way to keep this blog going over the summer. Seriously, I wasn't joking with that "Election '08" joke. You decide.
Let me know, yo. Peace and much love. Slater out.
Has the boredome hit you yet? It's hit me in some ways, not in others. I don't feel like I have nothing to do with myself, so I suppose that's good. However, I don't always want to do the things that are available. I'm in the middle of 4 books right now, and I rarely seem to feel like reading them. There's a good workout room on post, but I can't spend all day there, right? Perhaps there are myriad other ways for me to spend my time and I simply haven't found them yet...perhaps I accidentally or subconsciously found them but already wrote them off in my mind without actually giving them a chance...hmm, that's a thought that could really mess me up later.
Anyway, how about a few updates?
Currently Reading:
Life of Pi by Yann Martel
American Pastoral by Philip Roth
Forrest Gump by Winston Groom
Knowing God by J.I. Packer
and in the Biblia - Isaiah and 1 Peter
Currently Watching:
MASH, Season 1
Entourage, Season 2
and watching some old Hitchcock - Vertigo, North by Northwest, Rebecca, Psycho...
Currently Listening To:
Christina Aguilera - Back to Basics
the soundtrack to Aladdin
and, as always, Jars of Clay, Norah Jones, and Nickel Creek
So yeah, that's happening.
By the way, I stumbled upon a great passage from Life of Pi the other day. It looks like it could be based in or inspired by a passage in James, but I'm not entirely sure that was the author's source. See what you think:
"There are always those who take it upon themselves to defend God, as if Ultimate Reality, as if the sustaining frame of existence, were something weak and helpless. These people walk by a widow deformed by leprosy begging for a few paise, walk by children dressed in rags living in the street, and they think, 'Business as usual.' But if they perceive a slight against God, it is a different story. Their faces go red, their chests heave mightily, they sputter angry words. The degree of their indignation is astonishing. Their resolve is frightening.
These people fail to realize that it is on the inside that God must be defended, not on the outside. They should direct their anger at themselves. For evil in the open is but evil from within that has been let out. The main battlefield for good is not the open ground of the public arena but the small clearing of each heart. Meanwhile, the lot of widows and homeless children is very hard, and it is to their defence, not God's, that the self-righteous should rush." -- Yann Martell, Life of Pi
"22Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says. 23Anyone who listens to the word but does not do what it says is like a man who looks at his face in a mirror 24and, after looking at himself, goes away and immediately forgets what he looks like. 25But the man who looks intently into the perfect law that gives freedom, and continues to do this, not forgetting what he has heard, but doing it—he will be blessed in what he does.
26If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless. 27Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." -- James 1:22-27
Scriptural precedence, or just plain common sense? You decide! Election '08.
Anyway, um, um, where was I? Kinda lost my train of thought. Uh, well, uh, okay. Anyway I, I know it's kinda been a roundabout way of saying it, but I guess the whole point I'm tryin' to make here is: I. Hate. Sauerkraut! That's all I'm really tryin' to say, and, by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandry, full of loathing and self-doubt, and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy mixed-up universe of ours, there's still a little place called Albuquerque (or, Seventeenth Slate).
Whoa, where did that come from?
I suppose I'm going to go quench my boredom elsewhere, now. If anyone is out there reading this (ha, yeah right), and has any questions, or recommendations for entry topics, or anything like that, please please please let me know. Leave a comment, or message me on facebook. It's a good way to keep in touch and a great way to keep this blog going over the summer. Seriously, I wasn't joking with that "Election '08" joke. You decide.
Let me know, yo. Peace and much love. Slater out.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Leaving on a jet plane.
So the year is over. Like, totally over. My bags are packed, I'm ready to go. Grades are in and goodbyes have been said. So there are just a few more things I want to write while I'm still on this side of the Atlantic.
Rockbridge was a fantastic way to end the year, and I am incredibly excited about leading the Olde Campus guys' small group next year with Wyatt (love that guy). Over the last year, I've been seeing more and more just how strong sin truly is in our lives and the extent to which it controls and guides us, and unfortunately not the other way around. A lot of the things I've seen and heard this past week (and year) really cement that. But that's why we have to fight back. Of course, that could be part of the problem. We view this struggle as something we have to do instead of something we get to do as a way of glorifying and worshiping God. After all, what higher praise can we give God except by battling against something he hates so intensely as sin? That fight is a privilege, and is ultimately the only way we can receive true freedom. Which brings us back to an ever-present theme in the minds and hearts of men (and women) everywhere: Braveheart. Our fight against sin is about more than just getting through the day - it's about brotherhood, strength, and purity. It's about the idea that there is something more sovereign than we could ever be, and that something desires our freedom even more than we do. I want to thank everyone who fought that good fight with me this year, and I can't wait to keep it going next year.
That brings me to my next subject. What happens this summer? We won't have nearly as many people to help us in our struggles. But that can't mean that we just stop. It's going to be tough and it's going to be lonely, but with the help of facebook, skype, and the Biblia, I believe we'll all make it three months relatively unscathed.
I'm so glad I got back into my journaling/note-taking after a month long hiatus in April. I still refuse to let it become a woe-is-me pity party, or a "look what happened to me today" kind of thing (the same attitude I take toward this blog), but it is a place where I can be completely honest with myself and really work through stuff in words, and not just vacant thoughts.
Now, I have a lot I want to read this summer and I'm sure I won't get to it all, but I will try, and I will keep all of you updated on what I'm reading and when. At the moment I'm re-reading Yann Martel's Life of Pi, which I highly recommend to everyone out there, and I'm going to actually start making progress on American Pastoral by Philip Roth, which I mentioned a few entries ago, perhaps on the plane.
Other than that, not a lot going on, not many more thoughts on serious subjects, so I'll start to close this out. I want to send out a few personal thanks to Seth, Jon, Dan, Joel, Wyatt, Matt, Will, and Joseph for being such tremendous brothers all in your own ways, and you know what those ways are (I hope - if not, ask). If I didn't mention you by name, get over it, it doesn't mean I don't love you.
And with that, I leave you. I will be updating this over the summer. Please keep in touch - that will be terribly important for me. Keep fighting, and don't be afraid to show your battle wounds sometimes.
Rockbridge was a fantastic way to end the year, and I am incredibly excited about leading the Olde Campus guys' small group next year with Wyatt (love that guy). Over the last year, I've been seeing more and more just how strong sin truly is in our lives and the extent to which it controls and guides us, and unfortunately not the other way around. A lot of the things I've seen and heard this past week (and year) really cement that. But that's why we have to fight back. Of course, that could be part of the problem. We view this struggle as something we have to do instead of something we get to do as a way of glorifying and worshiping God. After all, what higher praise can we give God except by battling against something he hates so intensely as sin? That fight is a privilege, and is ultimately the only way we can receive true freedom. Which brings us back to an ever-present theme in the minds and hearts of men (and women) everywhere: Braveheart. Our fight against sin is about more than just getting through the day - it's about brotherhood, strength, and purity. It's about the idea that there is something more sovereign than we could ever be, and that something desires our freedom even more than we do. I want to thank everyone who fought that good fight with me this year, and I can't wait to keep it going next year.
That brings me to my next subject. What happens this summer? We won't have nearly as many people to help us in our struggles. But that can't mean that we just stop. It's going to be tough and it's going to be lonely, but with the help of facebook, skype, and the Biblia, I believe we'll all make it three months relatively unscathed.
I'm so glad I got back into my journaling/note-taking after a month long hiatus in April. I still refuse to let it become a woe-is-me pity party, or a "look what happened to me today" kind of thing (the same attitude I take toward this blog), but it is a place where I can be completely honest with myself and really work through stuff in words, and not just vacant thoughts.
Now, I have a lot I want to read this summer and I'm sure I won't get to it all, but I will try, and I will keep all of you updated on what I'm reading and when. At the moment I'm re-reading Yann Martel's Life of Pi, which I highly recommend to everyone out there, and I'm going to actually start making progress on American Pastoral by Philip Roth, which I mentioned a few entries ago, perhaps on the plane.
Other than that, not a lot going on, not many more thoughts on serious subjects, so I'll start to close this out. I want to send out a few personal thanks to Seth, Jon, Dan, Joel, Wyatt, Matt, Will, and Joseph for being such tremendous brothers all in your own ways, and you know what those ways are (I hope - if not, ask). If I didn't mention you by name, get over it, it doesn't mean I don't love you.
And with that, I leave you. I will be updating this over the summer. Please keep in touch - that will be terribly important for me. Keep fighting, and don't be afraid to show your battle wounds sometimes.
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