Recognition

I finished reading the second chapter of Brennan Manning's The Ragamuffin Gospel today (thanks Dack). The chapter is called "Magnificent Monotony" - it's about God's unceasing, monotonous love of us, regardless of our behaviors or sins. It's a simple idea, but one of the most difficult to grasp; at least it seems to be, judging by the attitudes of so many modern Christians. We spend so much time trying to get God to love us, forgetting that he always has and always will.

That said, I wonder about one of Manning's word choices near the end of the chapter - after I finished reading, I jotted down some notes that I'm gonna elaborate on a bit here. Basically, he says it is important to establish a self-acceptance, accepting that you are the way you are, the way God made you, and once you accept that, you can truly begin to grow as a Christian. I agree with the concept - it is only when we face our sins that we can confront them; we cannot fight battles with our backs turned to the enemy. However, I do not believe that "accepting" the way we are is the best term to use. Think back to all those standardized tests we took in high school - our job is to find the best answer from the given options. I would say that it is important to recognize our sinfulness, or perhaps acknowledge the way God made us (or Satan has molded us, whichever the case may be). Declaring the need for self-acceptance, at least to me, implies a stoppage of growth. So even though the action may be essentially the same, and the outcome basically equivalent, I felt that a different word might be better. We must never accept our sin because that makes it sound like we've given up the fight. But recognition of sin is recognition of the battle, and can being about the will necessary to fight it.

All of this thinking made me want to think some more, so that's what I did. And what I came up with was this. Ultimately, we must choose to change. God will not force us to change, nor should he. If he forced us to adapt to his ways, what would be the point of his love for us, or ours for him? It would me a meaningless show void of true emotion or sacrifice. We are made in a raw form, like clay, and we are molded into something more, like a jar, for instance (I'm going back a few entries, here). God teaches us how to make a jar, but he doesn't make it for us - then we wouldn't learn anything. We just be stuck here with a jar and nothing to do with it (so we'd probably just end up breaking it because it lacked use or practicality). We are shaped like clay only after we recognize the rawness of our lives, like the rawness of a clump of clay.

Are you following? Because if so, you're doing slight better than me...

Anyway, we recognize our rawness, and God teaches us how to turn that lump of muddy, dirty goop into something arty and/or crafty. He shapes us, but only by acting through us, or someone else. At least, most of the time. I'm talking about internal changes, not, you know, bigger stuff, like, you know, earthquakes, and like, you know, stuff like that. Which is why I say we have to choose change - God gives us sculpting lessons, but we have to do the sculpting, and we have to see the glory of the final masterpiece that God wants us to be. Right? Maybe not, but it seems like it at the moment?

It's like this Bible study I did with some people on a service project in D.C. - the woman leading the study that day was talking about all the worries we have, and how we should give them up to God and not worry so much. Fair enough. But then she has us write down those things we worry too much about, and said "If you're ready to give those things to God and not let them get to you anymore, throw that piece of paper in the trash." That was frustrating. First off, I didn't get how some meaningless physical representation of a decision to change would actually help me change. I also didn't get the idea of giving something completely to God, or not the way she was putting it. Because at the end of the day, even if God is the one in control of our material worries and issues, we are still the ones who have to deal with them. So God can guide us, but we still have to take that guidance, and in that sense, it is never entirely God's to deal with.

I know that if you take out quotes from this here and there, it's gonna seem like I'm very fragmented in my faith (and thought processes), but I feel like I'm making some sense. Let me try to recapitulate briefly:
We have to recognize our sinfulness, the raw form in which we were created by God and corrupted by Satan, but we must not accept it. Once we recognize it, we can fight our sinfulness, and create something meaningful out of our rawness, but only with guidance and teaching from God.

See, when I say it like that, it doesn't seem quite so strange. Perhaps I should have started with that. It would have been a nice thesis. But unfortunately for you, that's not how I roll. Deal with it. Also, I didn't proof this before I published it, for that, also, is not how I roll. Deal with that, too, while you're busy dealing with that first thing. Yeah.